The Dematabolization of Humanity: If Not Now, When? 2039 AD BRIEFING, PART I

 

 

{I did this all in fun. To ask permission of each person with specificity would ruin some of the — hoped for — enjoyment. PLEASE BE AWARE NO OFFENSE INTENDED!  I just made things up. I don ‘t actually know or know anything about most of these people; sorry if I failed to include someone! – Lou}

 

 

 

The Dematabolization of Humanity: If Not Now, When?  2039 AD BRIEFING, PART I

 

2039 AD BRIEFING, PART I

 

Zeta Reticuli is a planetary system including two stars both of which are about 1 billion years older than the Earth’s sun (Greer, 2024).  Zeti Reticuli is 39.2 light years from Earth and Zeta I is approximately one-eighth of a light year from Zeta II  (Serenity, 2024).

 

The Zetan Founders evolved on a planet orbiting Zeta I Reticuli and populated a Zeta II Reticulan planet with a genetically altered version – to accommodate different environmental conditions – of their species (Zetapedia, 2039).  Subsequently, on Earth the Founders attempted to genetically modify a native species of simians to roughly approximate the Founders’ appearance and abilities in the context of yet another divergent environment (Martin, 2025).[1] As shown in many artistic renderings as well as written and oral traditions, Humanity has a long record of punctuated periods of involvement with the Founders (Von Daniken, 1970).  Yet, consistent with Human behavior, all such involvement was officially denied and actively concealed by Human authorities (Resetar, 2029).

 

During the summer of 1947, two Zeta Reticulan I Ovoid-Class extraterrestrial lenticular-shaped aerodyne craft collided while on an observance-only mission over the atomic testing grounds in the State of New Mexico, USA, [2] Earth  (Mike B, 2017).   Radar film and tower logs from American Holloman Air Force Base reflected the merger of three objects prior to collision and subsequent crashes with the third object believed to be a test balloon (Majestic Twelve, 1952). The two Ovoid-Class craft experienced non-planned ground contact at two dispersed sites in New Mexico. [3] Four Zeta Reticulan I bodies were recovered, two of which were unevacuated in a damaged escape cylinder and two of which were found several yards from a second albeit evacuated cylinder (Majestic Twelve, 1952).  One of the four – an evacuated body – was nonmetabolic and badly decomposed as a result of exposure and assumed predatory action.  A second – the second evacuated body – became nonmetabolic within the first hour of the American Army Air Force recovery operation (Briefing Document, 1952).  The two unevacuated bodies became nonmetabolic due to undetermined causes (Collie, 2025).  All of the bodies and parts thereof were stored at Wright Patterson Air Force Base (Threadkiller, 2025).

 

Years of intensive Human study of the retrieved components of the two Ovoid-Class craft seeded numerous Human technological advances.  Within decades of the recovery, the reverse engineering of recovered components led to the fruition, as examples, of fiber optics, integrated circuits, lasers, Kevlar and accelerated particle beam devices (Corso, 1997).

 

In 2021, Human scientists at the Sheehan Institute of Science and Technology,  [4] fully replicated [5] a functioning Ovoid-Class power source (Moogboy, 2022).  The newly named D-Rodgers reactor was fueled with Element 114 [6] in a closed system. Fueling was the initial step in the provision of amplified Gravitic-Magnetic-S waves allowing Manosian travel (a.k.a. “accelerated light” travel) (Scott, 2027).

 

The D-Rodgers reactor bombarded Element 114 with hydrogen protons using a microparticle accelerator.  The hydrogen protons fused into the Element 114 nucleus creating the misnamed  “radioactive”[7] form of Element 115 [8] (“R-115”).  The almost simultaneous decay of R-115 [9] produced one particle of a type of anti-matter known as Sigma-Hydrogen as well as a large number of tachyons.  The flux of newly produced Sigma-Hydrogen particles and tachyons were channeled through an evacuated tuned tube and further contained within a flowing stream of higgs-boson particles layered with neutrinos where they were reacted with condensed dark matter in a Seraphinian Annihilation Reaction (Caveman, 2024).

 

The generation of the Subquarkian-Gravitic-Magnetic-S Waves theoretically allowed the craft to “fall” through space and time to its targeted (a.k.a. “attracted”) position at velocities of up to 1,000 times the speed of light (“1000-c”). [10] However, the inefficiencies of the Human constructed “Model Friedman-23” restricted Manosian travel to speeds of under 12-c.[11]

 

With the Human National Aeronautics and Space Administration’s first successful interplanetary flight in the Sheehan Program (the first manned extra-Earth program after the suspension of the Apollo Program),[12] overt and nonconcealable [13] Zeta Reticulan contact was initiated in compliance with Zeta Reticulan Containment Policy: Earth (Pyramid 0099742.7760.04, 2039).

 

[TO BE CONTINUED.]

 

[1] Human reproductive capacity, however, is significantly greater than is the Founders’  (Shane, 2026).

 

[2] “USA” and “America” are interchangeable names for the most powerful political entity on Earth during this time frame.

 

[3] Subsequent to this SNAFU, Zeta Reticulan regulations were adjusted to prohibit Zeta Reticulan Graduate Students from engaging in unaccompanied field studies of inhabited planets (Pyramid 3301003.0020.54, 1947).

 

[4] L. Sheehan was one of Earth’s two leading and farsighted UFOlogists in the second decade of the 21st Century (Klassless, 2024).

 

[5] Funding was provided by Les Alpucula’s donation of the patent to the Guinness Device.

 

[6] Renamed to be “Nancybyrneium.”

 

[7] Radioactive decay is conventionally described as the emission of ionizing particles and radiation (Wikipedia, 2039).   As is well known, the technical term for the R-115 process is “Lazarian Enahanced Restabilization.”

 

[8] A.k.a. “Billbyrneium.”

 

[9] Persuant to the “Island of Stability” properties of Element 114 (Nova scienceNOW, 2039).

 

[10] Einsteinian distortions are irrelevant to Manosian travel (Wade, 2027).

 

[11] This technology is dated by Galactic standards.

 

[12] See: “The Unending Book of Unending Homework Problems” by A. Martin.

 

[13] For culturally idiosyncratic reasons, it was necessary to establish the Zetan base on the “White House lawn” despite the intrinsically poor meteorological conditions  (Bates, 1940).

 

References

  1.  Bates, H. (1940, October), Farewell to the master.  Astounding Science Fiction

Magazine.

 

  1.  Briefing Document. (1952). Operation majestic 12 prepared for president-elect

Dwight D. Eisenhower. (Project Operations Group, White House.)  Washington, DC: White House.

  1.  Caveman, U. (2024).  Which means ….  Kansas: Talktalktalktalk Press.

 

  1.  Collie, J. (2025).  I’ll get back to you.  Las Vegas: Onthegopress.

 

  1.  Corso, P. (1997).  The day after roswell.  New York: Pocket Books.

 

  1.  Greer, J. (2024). Look it up yourself! Sheehan Institute of Science and Technology: Yet Another Project Press.

 

  1.  Greys (2039).  In Zetapedia.  Retrieved April 24, 2039, from http://zeta.en.zetapedia.org/wiki/greys

 

  1.  Island of Stability. (September, 2006). Nova scienceNOW.  Retrieved April 24, 2039,

from   http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sciencenow/3313/02.html

 

  1.  Klassless, P. (2024). You are all wrong about everything and you all stink and I will get all of you!: Ugly Billionaire Press.

 

  1.  Majestic Twelve. (1952). First annual report. (Project Operations Group,

White House.)  Washington, DC: White House.

 

  1.  Martin, A. (2025).  The point is: was cartman right?  Tahiti: South Park Press.

 

  1.  Martin, A. (2012). The unending book of unending homework problems. Beijing: AndyouthoughtIwasanicegirlPress.

 

  1.  Mike, B. (2017). Oh my god! Baltimore:  Johns Hopkins Press.

 

  1.  Moogboy. (2022).  One quick question.  Bawlamer Publications: Maryland.

 

  1.  Pyramid 0099742.7760.04. (2039). Containment policy: Earth (TJ, Trans.)

Akenhaten: Central Office of Records. (Original work published 18,496 BCE)

 

  1.  Pyramid 3301003.0020.54. (2039). Graduate student restrictions (TJ,

Trans.)  Akenhaten: Central Office of Records. (Original work published

1947)

 

  1.  Radioactive Decay.  (April 24, 2039.) In Wikipedia.  Retrieved April 24, 2039, from

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radioactive_decay

 

  1.  Resetar, M. (2029).  Piece it together.  Kalamazoo: Paperwork Press.

 

  1.  Scott, K. (2027.)  Statistically Proven: The Mets Will Never Win a World Series Again!  Retrieved April 23, 2039 from

http://www.boblazar.com.

 

  1.  Serenity. (2024). Freedom!  New Jersey: Take-that! Books.

 

  1.  Shane, J. (2026).  The lone star.  Chicago: Playboy Press.

 

  1.  Threadkiller, W. (2025).  But couldn’t you do it another way? Antarctica: Breakawaycivilization Press.

 

  1.  Wade, H. (2027).  Ganja. Pahrump: Inyourface Publishing.

 

  1.  Von Daniken, E. (1970).  Chariots of the gods? New York: Bantam Books, Inc.

 

 

 

 

 

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About masterkan

Louis Sheehan
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