THESE ARE THE CONTINUING VOYAGES OF THE STARSHIP WRECK — ING — HU (PART IV)
<ON BOARD THE KLINGON BIRD OF PREY: PERDITION>
COMMISSAR SHEEA’VEGLLGI: Qagh wyqrw yIDoghQoO’ bIjath ‘e’ yImev.
<Commissar’s Log: We have encountered a new form of Federation space-mine inhibiting our approach to Ceti-Alpha-Five composed primarily of plastic and wood products with the curious symbols “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.” >
Nugjathl maj majQa’ ‘arloghQoylu ngop.
<If Lt. Miesqumerqu does not have a translation in 24 hours he will be awarded hard-labor for life on Praxis. Cannon Fodder! Check to see that Lt. Miesqumerqu is performing productive work and not surfing for bizarre websites. >
CANNON FODDER: nugjtmajQo’ goslIj qaStah.
<Sir! The Lieutenant is using one of those sleek, stable, powerful and efficient Romulan computers. Our Personnel have not yet discovered how to hack into those machines, or even how to use them! Sir, sensor scans indicate that all of the dihydrogen-monoxide on Ceti-Alpha-Five has been … polluted … with a curious carbohydrate-protein mixture.>
HULU: Why is my paperwork due on time, but Mr. Snot is allowed to turn his in months after the due date without penalty? It seems an odd way to run an enterprise.
DR. MCGOO: Lt. Omanura, just exactly what IS your job on this 4-year voyage?
OMANURA: I don’t know. Why? Oh look! A tribble!
HARVEY MUDD: For you, madam, only 18 trillion euros.
OMANURA: I’ll write you a check using the Wreck – Ing – Hu’s account.
TICKOFF: Where is ze Keptin?
HULU: Busy watching re-runs of ‘Kung-Fool.’
MR. SCHLOCK: I have received a subspace communication indicating that Captain stDarr has entered into contractual negotiations with the captives.
DR. MCGOO: My god, man. Armageddon!
HULU: I attend class. I do higher quality and timely work, but I don’t get promoted, whereas ….
SNOTTY: Mr. Hulu. Don’t stress your fragile young mind with such questions.
CAPTAIN JERK: Why hasn’t stDarr blasted us with phasers? He MUST be up to something!
<TO BE CONTINUED>